Crossed the big old Columbia river yesterday. I put Gwen to bed last night here at our friend Cailtin's house in Portland, OR. As my exhaustion from manic packing and cleaning set me to dozing off, I woke with the full realization that I no longer live in Washington state. That a full reality of resettling awaits; that, bound together with my family, we have set out into a largely malleable future. We have arranged for stations along the way, where friends and family old and new await us, to no doubt whisper to us simple and mysterious messages of wisdom and folly. Rae's parents await us at the terminus of this path. There we set up the physical and emotional space to welcome another child out into the breathin' air. Meanwhile, I begin the overdue process of finding employment, and allow the unraveling of my identity as Olympian/Cascadian to begin.
Cascadia, Olympia. I pick the epic a/o elegant words when given the chance.
This is as full as it gets I think, and yet matters of migration, fatherhood, family love, bonds and responsibilty ring familiar tones in me. I'm focusing now on releasing much of this stress accumulated in ornery neck knots. Oh yeah, I'm the one creating this stuff through my habitual responses, so I get to let it go. Ahhhh...
Of course the help of massage artists and other healers is needed too.
Several people, mostly of the older generation, have agreed that it's incorrect to say that I'm going "Out East". Apparently even though I've lived in W.Wash since 1981 (for about 94% of my life), our culture and therefore our language says that Westward movement is forward movement. Oh, the inertia of frontier-ism! Therefore, I have to say 'Back East'. It is certainly the direction from which my ancestors emigrated. Here I go, then, plunging back into the interior climate, retracing expeditions I only traveled in the genes of my antecedents, deep in the serum of the potential futures.
It's dreamy outside today. Rae knits, Gwen naps. The reality of this reinvention of self, identity and home creeps in on the bright gray Portland air. I have not yet begun to miss the many friends, family and places that I love here in Cascadia because I've been so distracted by the intensive focus on packin up, movin out, gettin on the road. I am grateful to you all for your love and support in this big old turn in the road I'm following.
Jerm 27 feb 2014
When I was 5 years old my parents drove a truck with my brother and I and all of our belongings from Colorado to New Hampshire, where we lived for most of my childhood. I still remember all the games we played to keep ourselves occupied during the long drive. I wonder if Gwen will remember this journey? Sounds like the trip is off to a good start. Wishing you a sweet travel and ease in your new abode.
ReplyDeleteHappy travels!! Come back East indeed. :) Much love from Maine!
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